I found the problem right away: I was suffering because of other people and for other people.
What’s the point in “doing everything right” in life, if we have to suffer? There is no point! But yet, we often have to feel pain due to other people not doing everything right. If someone else makes a bad decision they try their hardest to pull people into their suffering. The really intelligent sufferers are very skilled at knowing who they can latch onto so they can actually dump their pain energy onto that person, so that you suffer while they carry on their merry way. The problem with these kinds of people is that they are unknowingly master manipulators, always trying to bring other people down to bolster themselves up. The other problem with these people is that they are always getting into problems! Rarely are their issues isolated. More often than not, if you look at their history, they have left a trail of bodies behind them and continue to do so: poor family relationships, no close friends, ex-friends that hate their guts, ex-coworkers that want nothing to do with them, legal troubles…you name it. And yet, in their eyes, everything happened to them, and none of it was their fault.
STAY AWAY from these people. Now. Run. Don’t look back. Don’t reply to that text message. Block their phone number. Send their emails to the spam folders. It is your God-given right to choose you let into your life. Practice emphatically saying NO.
There is a marked difference between someone who is trying to make you suffer with them versus someone who needs a shoulder to lean on. How does one discern the difference? I’m about to get somewhat metaphysical on you in this explanation.
SIGNS THEY’RE TRYING TO MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THEM
When someone is trying to make you suffer it will be obvious now that you’re starting to awaken yourself to this phenomenon. For one, you’ll feel it in your body when you’re around someone trying to make you suffer because you’ll start feeling stress, anxiety, and pain while they’re venting on you. Your body will tense up, and you’ll feel as though you are the one physically and emotionally experiencing the negativity of the problem that they’re describing to you!!!!
While listening to these people, you’ll feel as though their problem is actually your problem even though your life is going great! This is because they are purposely transferring their negative energy to you and you are accepting it into your life. This is where the needless suffering begins. I promise you, suffering for someone does not improve their situation – it only hurts you.
Listen to your body while you’re interacting with these people – do you tense up or feel like hanging up because you can’t handle their drama? I’ve had so many clients over the years in my legal practice that I can’t count how many times I wanted to throw my phone into the ocean to escape the drama these people were spewing to me, even though I was the one helping them! But yet there I stayed with the phone glued to my ear feeling obliged to listen and absorb, my hands sometimes shaking, and my body feeling the effects of their private hell because I let myself be the easy target. The only one that lost was me.
NO ONE HAS A GUN TO YOUR HEAD.
No one is forcing you to absorb their suffering. No one should be able to force you to be in a situation you don’t want to be in. Are you worried a sufferer is going to sue you because you didn’t feel like putting up with their nonsense? You shouldn’t be. If you say no and turn your back on someone or hang up a telephone to preserve your sanity, are you worried that person will never speak to you again? If that is how they would behave then you don’t want someone like that in your life in the first place. Clear out the clutter and filter these people from your life.
This is your life so don’t let other people live your life on their terms. After all, what’s the point of doing things right in life, if you’re going to end up suffering from other people’s wrongs?
Check out the full transcript at www.neilbhartia.com and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes!
Please SUBSCRIBE & LIKE ❤️❤️
Follow our Twitter: https://twitter.com/neilbhartia
Follow our Instagram: https://instagram.com/neilbhartia